Learning how to live, while trying not to die

A story about my stage 4 colon cancer journey,

growing to trust my inner voice, and how cancer became the best worst thing that ever happened to me

Dec 11, 20203 min read

Feeling worse and worse, but also better

When people ask me how I’m doing these days, I don’t know quite what to tell them. The side effects are getting worse and worse. I...

Sep 25, 20202 min read

From ego-driven to soul-drawn

Wow. It’s been too long since I’ve done an update, but I guess I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I let the two year anniversary of my...

Jul 7, 20201 min read

#onbrand

On my way out of chemo today, a woman on the elevator was semi-alarmed to see me enter with my external chemo pump and my mask. To...

Jun 21, 20202 min read

New tools versus doom

I keep buying memoirs. Reading the story of others with cancer. I relate to them fully; they make me laugh in recognition—and cry, tears...

Apr 25, 20203 min read

Finding value in being vs doing

Hi there! Checking in toward the back part of my first cycle back with a mostly positive report. It was weird to be going back into...

Apr 12, 20203 min read

Chemo during Covid

“I heard back from Dr Kemeny. She agrees that the lesions in the liver are new activity and that you should start treatment.” “Ok,” I...

Mar 19, 20203 min read

Cancer, Covid, and creativity

“The world is currently experiencing what it’s like to be a cancer patient,” begins the meme. It’s not inaccurate: Try to stay healthy....

Jan 1, 20202 min read

Wishing you health, happiness, and just enough adventure in 2020

For years now, I’ve enjoyed the tradition of an end of year mileage run. In part because when you travel regularly, it’s nice to have...

Dec 28, 20192 min read

Can’t keep my hopes down

It’s been a while since my last update - partially due to the holidays (which were great!) but also due to the fact that not much has...

Dec 2, 20193 min read

Not ready, but done waiting

“How are you feeling?” People ask tentatively, as they drop off food, run into us on a walk, send a quick text. “I would like to say much...

Nov 17, 20193 min read

Fine, it’s situational depression

It’s no secret that this recovery has been way harder than my last two. And I haven’t posted about it, because frankly it’s way less fun...

Oct 22, 20192 min read

The right plan for a better lunch

Today was a better day. We ventured out to lunch with a finely tuned plan: “We are not going to have a conversation on the way.” “Agreed;...